How to Survive Infidelity--7 Step Process to Recovery

Infidelity is a sure way to kill a special marriage.  A spouse decides that he or she needs something extra other than what the marriage can supply so they end up playing in someone else's field or using someone else's tool to satisfy their urges only to kill that special union and trust.  Is there a way to survive infidelity as a couple or as an individual?  Let's look at some ways healing after infidelity can occur.

• The root cause has to be sought and discussed without argument, usually before a qualified person. Everyone has some kind of flaw from childhood or adulthood that makes them react in a certain manner under certain circumstances. The woman may have been abused and feels no self-worth making it easy for a man that pays her a little attention to get a little too close.

• The victim must not blame himself or herself for the act. Many reasons as to why the act might have occurred but to blame oneself never allow healing to take place. People do things without any intentions of ever hurting their spouse because they never plan for the spouse to ever know about it.

• Seek the council of a qualified person either as an individual or as a couple; maybe both but definitely as a couple just for understanding's sake.

• Communicate with each other. This is a major step in recovery for you. Talk and don't yell for communication will help you understand each other. You will now find out things about one another that never surfaced before this happened. A greater understanding and respect may come about provided that the marriage is worth saving.

• Continue to keep the lines of communication open for the more information, the better the chances of healing.

• Keep others out of your business. This is probably how everything began in the first place. Every little piece of information an outsider gets is a little piece too many. Everyone within your circle does not mean your marriage any good. There are some who want what you have or just want you.

• The most important step of all is to pray. Find your way to the throne of Grace and ask for help. All the counseling and talk in the world will not help heal the one area that was damaged the most, the heart. Sure your mind plays tricks on you but your heart always has the right answer for it is truth. Seek the ultimate healer of the heart for this is the only true means to recovery. Pray, pray, and pray for strength again.

I believe if the steps above are taken into consideration then healing from the pains of infidelity will begin. Just implement Step 7 into all the steps to enhance their effectiveness.

 
 

Marriage--How do I Save Mine?

In today's society, dissolved relationships are running rampid like antelope on the open plains.  Divorce rates, especially among Christians, is as high as gold prices currently.  With that in mind, how do we save our own marriage from the very pitfalls of cruel reality?

One of the ways to make sure your marriage stays intact is to make sure communication takes place.  Not the kind where you talk at each other but where actual listening takes place and what is said is actually implemented.  As a couple, you are a partnership with shared responsibilities to one another.  There should be no space between you and your spouse as you go through the pains and joys of marriage. 

The other ingredient is unconditional love.  As you stood before the judge or preacher to be married there were vows taken to express and show the unity each of you pledged before both man and God.  Through sickness and in health, for better and for worse, till death.  Very strong vows and not just mere words.  When all else fails, love does not.

Enjoy each other in both the good times as well as the bad.  Support one another in the endeavor to remain united and always treat each other with the utmost kindness and respect.