Dealing With Infidelity-Who Hurts More?

Who does infidelity hurt more, the husband or the wife? Since both spouses lives have been turned upside down by the deceit, disloyalty, treachery, dishonesty, etc. let's examine the effects on both the husband and the wife.

First, let's examine it from the wife's perspective. More than likely she expects him to cheat on her for on all accounts, it's just men's nature to cheat according to the stereotypical conversations. The belief that all men are dog's eases the pain just a little because this is what society and the past labeling has taught her; therefore, she deals with the pain of infidelity better. This is not to say that the pain is any less but anticipation helps in all cases. She is just better able to deal with it in my opinion.

But the husband really should keep the tool in the tool shed until he is ready to visit his own garden. There is no need in always exploring different fields to plant seeds because the owner of that garden may not let him off with just a warning. The penalty for trespassing can be severe, even to the point that the trespasser's tool could be destroyed as well as the trespasser himself.

Now let's look at the husband which is what this article was really in reference to. The fact of the matter is that he really can't handle it that well. Sure we men have this tough image to project; that we can handle anything. But let his wife have an affair and his whole world comes apart. Why? Glad you asked. Men in general are not very emotional creatures. Sure we may shed a tear or two every now and then but normally, we just don't show our emotions due to feelings of vulnerability. It is that fact alone that leads me to believe that it hurts men more than women. She has the inate ability to let it pass and forgive whereas he has the ability to just let it sit there and simmer, boil, and remain hot.

Due to our inability as men to deal with emotional circumstances, we fail to be as forgiving as our counterparts. When dating, men usually move from date to date without feeling any attachment to her until that special one taps into his very core. It is that tapping into that makes us take you women home to meet mom. Once tapped in, we become more protective of our territory and don't want noone to get close to the secret garden which belongs to us once we say I do. When she cheats, it's a whole new ball game; kind of like the new car we cherish until it gets a few scratches on it, then it is time for a trade-in. We do not want our secret garden to be worked by no other gardener except for us who are the keepers of that particular garden. Once it has been violated, we no longer are the smooth, calm, gentlemen we once were; instead, we are like lions in the field waiting for our chance to pounce on all involved.

In dealing with fidelity, who hurts more is really irrelevant; however, when asked men generally have a much harder time than women. Therefore, it is man who hurts more.